Your Day, Your Way

Styling Thoughts for the Groom and his Groomsmen

Dear Groom:

In case you have yet to be properly informed, your wedding day is “her” day, and you are there to complete the picture.

Congratulations and Sincerest Best Wishes,

All other Grooms who have gone before you

Well, ok, I may have slightly overstated my case, but you get the point. Sinatra made a big hit out of “My Way”, but when you are deciding what you will wear for the big day, a fundamental starting point is: what will she be wearing?

The bride-to-be may have been planning for her wedding day since she was six years old and have everything completely figured out, or she may still be working it out in her head and heart. In either case, with regard to what you will be wearing, find a way to:

  • Appropriately honor the occasion
  • Fit in with the chosen venue
  • Remain true to yourselves
  • Look like you belong together

Your first inclination may be to keep it simple and just rent tuxedos for you and your groomsmen, but may I say, “Not so fast.” That may be the best route to take in some cases, but having a special suit or tuxedo is an increasingly popular choice.

Note: Considering what most brides spend on their wedding dress ($3 – 5K and beyond is not unusual….and never to be worn again in most cases), if you invest even twice as much on your wedding suit as you would typically spend on a suit, you are in good company. And unlike that beautiful dress, you will get to enjoy your suit or tuxedo many, many times after the wedding day.

As the groom, what to wear for your wedding can run the gamut from a full-blown Morning Suit (think Prince William) to a Seersucker Jacket and white cotton or linen pant. One of those would be more appropriate in a Gothic Cathedral and the other on a sandy white beach. I’ll let you decide which is which. The point is: you have options. Your wedding day will be a one-of-a-kind, personally momentous occasion, deserving of an effort that expresses the unique and special qualities of who you are as a couple. So let’s talk about Your Day. Or more precisely, “Your Day, Your Way.”

Even if you decide on the clothes first, and then find a place that perfectly surrounds the stunning couple that you are, let’s begin by asking:

  • Will the ceremony take place in a large church, a small chapel, the backyard of someone’s home, on a coastal bluff or on the beach below or in one of a thousand other possibilities?
  • With the venue decided, are the two of you more formal or casual, sophisticated or bohemian, traditional or artsy, etc., etc.?
  • How would you describe your style as a couple and the style of the day you want to create?

Pearl of Wisdom: Whether you are entering into this union with much in common or from vastly different worlds, some compromises or give-and-take is inevitable. As obvious as that probably sounds, it’s sometimes easier said than done.

Special Touch: When working with your Tom James clothier, you may want to do something like Rudy did to surprise his bride Chloe, and put a special label inside your jacket. Any text that fits on the label and is in good taste is fair game. Your names and the wedding date would be another option. Be creative with one more small way to make it “Your Day, Your Way.”

I doubt that this answers all of your questions, but it should get you moving down the right path. Stay close for additional thoughts on styling your groomsmen and some gift ideas for those same gentleman, what to wear when you’re the guest, and things that no one ever tells the groom from the mouths of recent grooms.

If you’ve already tied-the-knot, what’s one bit of advice that you would like to share with future grooms?
Sartorial (and Nuptial) Regards,

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