No One Told Me

Insights and Advice from Recent Grooms on What they don’t prep you for

We’ve all heard it said, “Hindsight is twenty twenty.” One way to get that advantage is to ride the coattails of someone else who has “already been there.” If your wedding is still in the future, perhaps the very near future, then here is your chance to do just that. Before things get too crazy and your ability to listen is greatly diminished by the emotions and activities of the wedding festivities, here is some ‘sage’ advice from the experiences of a few recent grooms.

Adam M. from San Francisco provides these priceless nuggets:

“Nobody told me that a sudden rainstorm right before the outdoor ceremony was entirely the groom’s fault… as if, somehow, I controlled the weather.”
“Nobody told me to double-check the length of my collar stays before packing my wedding suit, so they wouldn’t stick into my neck throughout the ceremony.”
“Nobody told me a couple glasses of champagne before the ceremony is a perfectly acceptable way to steady the nerves. Thankfully I figured it out on my own.”
“Nobody told me my father, who officiated the wedding and agreed to wear a tie for the occasion, would show up in a bolo tie.”

So the acorn doesn’t always fall that close to the tree?

“Nobody told me a dozen white doves would be released right after kissing the bride, so every photo of the moment shows me cowering behind my wife.”

I knew ahead of time about the doves at my shindig. They were awesome! Great for outdoor weddings. Maybe not so much in a church or chapel. At least have someone open the doors and windows.

Or how about this one courtesy of Brad from Chicago:

“No one ever tells you that “hey, one of the happiest days of your life can also be one of the most stressful”. Looking back, I would have done more to keep situations “light” rather than getting upset trying to figure out who this woman was and where did the girl go that I am supposed to marry.”

Robert C. gave us this great tip:

I think the thing they don’t prep you for is how much you will be the center of attention. This puts pressure on you to be pretty perfect in all you do. One way I combated any anxiety from that is to focus my attention on how I can serve others and make sure they feel like the special ones. I made sure everyone felt appreciated for what they were doing for us as groomsmen, parents, priests and ushers. By helping them I helped myself.

And while we’re on this topic, here are two simple lists to pay close attention to:

What you Shouldn’t Care about

(at least not to the point of losing sleep, etc.)

  • Her dress
  • Any of the other dresses
  • The flowers
  • Wedding colors (unless she wants to pick the colors of your favorite team’s arch nemesis)
  • …I’m sure there are a few other things. Ask around and make your own list.

What you Should Care About

  • What you will be wearing
  • Your Vows
  • Who you choose for Best Man
  • The Guest List
  • The Food and Beverages….especially the beverages
  • The Honeymoon and what you will be wearing

Already experiencing marital bliss? Do you have a tip you’d like to share, so a future groom doesn’t have to say “no one told me…”?

Also, check out more photos and dialog on our Facebook Timeline.

Sartorial Regards,

Tom@tomjames.com

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